Changes.

Changes are inevitable. As a human you evolve and morph based on circumstances and people in your life. Getting to choose change is usually met with curiosity about what the future holds. Not getting the chance to choose can feel like suddenly falling through a grate in the sidewalk. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about changes. How do I engage with the sudden up-side down type of changes? Not the “turn that frown upside down” toxic positivity engagement but authentic, wet sand in your shorts, soaked jeans kind of realness. And, was the change really sudden or did I just kick the can down the inevitable road? Maybe it can change, maybe this can work, maybe if I just (insert something that is totally not doable by one person) do this thing everything will work out!

How often are we avoiding change because change sucks? For those folks who’ve gone to therapy, was it really awesome to have to face your “stuff” head on? It sure the hell wasn’t for me. 

So, change has happened. All the plans you had are over before they began. What you thought was up turns out to be down. Dogs are cats and cats are dogs–ok, maybe not that much of a change, but it can feel that way. There is a certain weird kind of grief that happens when life makes a left turn but all your directions say right turn only. Maybe it’s not quite Kubler-Ross stages of grief but it’s real nonetheless. Your body feels it, your spirit feels it, your bank account may feel it. As you move through your stages the fall out occurs–what do you do now? What do you tell people? Are there multiple sides to this story of change? Do you even care enough to tell a version of your story? Eeeesh. No wonder sudden change feels overwhelming. 

At some point in time you are able to emerge from your grief hangover feeling ready to move forward. You can start to turn that frown upside down–kind of. Be wary of those who are a bit too eager to get you to where you were–you deserve the time it takes to get yourself ready. 

Before you start your engines, allow yourself some time to figure out what lessons you learned in the process. Where are your boundaries now? How has your communication changed? Are you able to reflect on what went awry and what part you played? 

Changes are inevitable. But what you learn about yourself in the process can help make future potential changes easier to spot. Changes can force you to get clear about what it is that you need, what you can provide and what you’re willing to do for those things to happen. 

Changes can suck. Changes can be rad. Whatever the change is, you have to pay attention to how you come out on the other side. I’m telling you this but I’m also telling me this. Let’s embrace change together. It’ll be less sucky that way.